When I Grow Up

When I grow up I want to be filthy poor and as equally uneducated. When I grow up I want to have a false sense of entitlement and live off the dole. When I grow up I want to be homeless and eat out of garbage cans. When I grow up I want to have my Wisdom teeth pulled even though I don't need them pulled so that I won't be wise about anything including my money. When I grow up I want to grow a big snout or a long tail from all of the genetically modified toasted corn puffs I eat for breakfast every morning. When I grow up I want to get off of Ritalin, but by then it will be too late because my mind will suffer severe shock from the withdrawal and the only thing I'll be fit for is a straight jacket in a state hospital. When I grow up I want to be sterilized and sold to an underground sex-slave trafficking organization and since I've already received the HPV vaccine I'll be a prime candidate. When I grow up I want to have every civil liberty my ancestors fought for taken away from me. When I grow up I want to be mind controlled. When I grow up I want less government and more greedy businessmen making important decisions about my life.