My Evil Complex

In the beginning... (Genesis)
If I could go back and start all over again
I would, because there are some things I'd change.
Some not,
but some I would... If I could.
::
Justice would prevail every action sought.
Wisdom would reign virtuous thoughts.
Power I would keep! Though not lording it over others.
And love would rule forever in peace.
::
I wouldn't hate the ones who hurt me.
I wouldn't hurt the ones I hold dear.
And with every tear that fell I would release every fear.
::
And I would let love rule everywhere I went.
And I would let love rule everything I did.
::
I would beat my own swords into plowshares.
I would do no harm to my fellow man.
And to every single person who would ask me to
I would lend a helping hand.
::
And if it so happened I was welcomed back
into that Garden of Life
I wouldn't lead anyone astray.
I would look through the eyes of an unjealous heart
letting love be the compass of an uncharted course.
::
Of course, I would
If I could go back!
::
I wouldn't lie to another living soul
about anything
            ever            again.
No, I would look you in the eyes
and tell you the truth
and not just what I thought
you would want to hear me say.
::
I wouldn't betray any one of my friends
            or Christ, for that matter.
I wouldn't deny him either!
And if I would have the chance to love all over again
I would love you
with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength.
And with this strength
I would move those mountains
that stood in the way.
::
I would do this each and every day, I promise.
I promise, I would do this
each and every day.
I promise, I would do this
each and every day.
Yes, I would do this each and every day.
I promise.
::
No, nothing since the commandments
has been written in stone
by I AM Who Causes to Become.
And no one should be left all alone to ponder
and wonder why all these years she caused so much sorrow
and so many tears.
::
Yet, to be a true leader
you have to follow someone, sometimes.
And to be a true leader
you need to learn to read between the lines.
::
I would walk right out of that dark abyss
into the light of God's everlasting love
continuously shining from above.
::
There would be no need to redeem my soul
            or anyone else's, for that matter.
If I knew I could, I would
because I'd finally know
that I was perfectly good... The End (Apocalypse)

You and I

You were Home Of The Brave.

I was Desperately Seeking Susan.

You were fine art,

I was so commercial.

Amadeus was your selection,

Purple Rain was mine.

You introduced me to The B-52s.

I turned you on to The Moody Blues.

You were so full of expression.

I wanted to make an impression.

Happy Birthday Tina Turner, I whispered into the phone,

Chaka Khan is calling.

I barely kissed your lips.

I knew.

I love you, I said.

You too, you said, but let’s take it slow.

You were so quick to lead;

I was so quick to follow.

You said don’t get heavy.

I did.

You wanted me to make the first move.

I wish I would have.

Lean on me, you sang. I tried.

It’s just you, you sang. I believed you.

I would have married you;

You just wanted a hot summer fling.

You found yourself dancing in the Shadows at Midnight.

I lost myself confessing at High Noon on Sunday.

My mother blamed you,

Your father blamed me.

How could someone so carefree become so angry?

How could someone so full-of-life become so lethargic?

Here’s the pill, the doctor said.

I swallowed.

ECT, he kept insisting.

I kept refusing.

I wanted to remember everything about you.

You wanted to forget you ever knew me.

You were all over town,

I was in isolation.

The nurse threw my robe belt in at me;

I tied it around my neck.

I would have given my soul for you.

You didn’t even come to see about me.

I cried and cried and cried until I couldn’t.

I begged for you to call but you wouldn’t.

I searched everywhere for you.

You were nowhere to be found.

I almost died for you.

I guess you’re almost forgiven.

The Rape Room

“So you think you’re one of the 144,000!?
This is what you’re going to do for a thousand years!”
::
Violently torn and my spirit broken,
Profusely bleeding, my virginity taken,
I came to while the nurse removed my pink robe,
I suppose to wash the bloody stain, so that no DNA remained.
::
I awoke again, this time with a bloody scream.
To my surprise two females shrilly cried back
as if the same thing had happened to them:
“What Kim!?”
::
As I further awakened,
the winter darkness filling the room
I wondered how I kept from falling off
the rusty examining table
never realizing that I was soon to be pronounced disabled.
::
I eased myself down to the cold damp floor
not knowing if they were going to come in once more.
I tried to do a sit up to tighten my muscles and lesson the pain
praying all the while they wouldn’t come in again.
Feeling the numb area around my vagina
I felt a maxi pad hiding the bleeding gap six inch in diameter.
I was dilated like I just had a baby
I started crying like I was going crazy.
::
I walked over to the window pacing back and forth
the snow on the ground outside
let me know I was no longer up on the fifth floor.
I continued to pace and pray at the same time
and thought of my savior, Jesus Christ
when he said, Keep on knocking and it will be opened to you.
I walked to the door and knocked like he said to do.
I waited in silence then all of a sudden
the door knob turned, the door was opened.
::
(By who I can’t remember)
but I was taken down a dark corridor
where when I looked back I saw my captor, wearing his yamaka.
I was frightened beyond belief.
Who could comprehend such grief?
I was led further to a small elevator
that took me back up to the doctor’s examining room
and then out to the hallway behind the nurse’s station.
I cried vehemently. Not out of consolation.
But because I believed there were others I left behind in the basement.
::
Trying to erase my memory, I imagine,
they kept asking me: Won't you take an electric shock!?
Maybe twelve or thirteen!?
That number is so symbolic
and thinking back on several occasions,
I thought that even the doctor was probably having delusions.